Когда рождается отец или нужен ли муж в роддоме?



Думаю, многие женщины будучи беременными, задавались одним и тем же вопросом – а у моего мужа уже возникло чувство отцовства? А если нет, то когда оно проявится? Множество статей написано о переживаниях мам, об их ощущениях, но так мало сказано  о папах! Что они переживают в момент рождения ребенка, которого им пришлось девять месяцев ждать «снаружи»? Как находят свое место в новой семье? Сцены из Таллиннского роддома.

«Женское отделение», «роддом», «мать и детя» — даже название места не оставляет выбора! Это женская территория! Буквально еще каких то несколько лет назад увидеть мужчину в  роддоме было экзотикой. Тогда все было иначе, тогда мужчинам отводилась минимальная роль во всем этом процессе – «пришел, сдал, принял, забрал». Обычная схема, которая считалась нормальной на протяженни долгих лет!

муж в роддоме?

Что происходит сейчас? А сейчас все изминилось! Сегодня, заходя в женское отделение, кажется, что мужчин здесь даже больше, чем женщин. Передо мной открылась удивительная картина – мужчины ехали со мной в лифте, они ждали своих жен в отделении для новорожденных, рядом с кабинетами врачей и даже в родильном блоке. Они не оставляют своих жен один на один с беременностью и родами, участвуют, помогают, задают вопросы врачам, изучают результаты анализов и кормят из бутылочки новорожденных. И я, как женщина, испытываю от этого огромную гордость! Гордость за наших эстонских пап, да и вообще за всех пап в мире, кто осознал важность появления малыша на свет. Реальность изменилась, беременность и роды перестали быть только делом женщин: у кабинетов врачей я вижу пять пациенток, четыре из которых пришли со своими мужчинами.

 

И все же – как бы папы ни готовились к родам, когда наступает час Х, они холодеют от ужаса. Главное в этот момент – довериться врачу. И именно открытость наших Таллиннских роддомов, готовность специалистов идти навстречу пациентам, объяснять, рассказывать и показывать приводит к возникновению доверительных отношений. Что в результате защищает от страхов, снимает вопросы, волнения, а иногда – позволяет принять единственное правильное решение.  Я видела как наши врачи общаются с папами, как ласково и внимательно им все объясняют. Здесь никто никому не мешает, здесь все – это одна единая команда! Все это стало возможным в том числе и благодаря открытию современных роддомов и появлению одноразовой стерильной одежды. Сейчас во всех роддомах Таллина мужчина может быть рядом с женщиной во время всех обследований в течение девяти месяцев, присутствовать на родах, приходить сразу после рождения ребенка, оставаться ночевать в палате.

муж в роддоме?

Я наблюдаю за молодыми отцами в коридорах роддома. Мужчины не только восторгаются своими малышами, но и охотно соглашаются пеленать, переодевать, кормить и поить. Они  легко справляются с новой ролью! Жаль, что многие мужчины склонны недооценивать себя и считают именно младенческий возраст временем матерей, а не отцов. Если сегодня мужчина меняет памперс, это не значит, что завтра он не сможет играть в футбол с сыном или не сможет проявить твердость с дочерью. Ребенок всегда увидит разницу между отцом и матерью.

И напоследок несколько ярких разговоров с папами, которые в тот день находились в роддоме и ждали своих жен.

33-летний Игорь, бизнесмен, человек чрезвычайно занятой, он признается, что впервые пришел с женой на прием к врачу перед самыми родами. «Когда я впервые увидел изображение ребенка на экране, это произвело на меня очень сильное впечатление, – говорит Игорь. – Я осознал, что внутри моей жены есть жизнь. Если до этого я говорил о беременности как о чем-то абстрактном, в тот момент она приобрела для меня вполне конкретные очертания. Я почувствовал, что все это имеет ко мне отношение и что нам предстоит дальше».

Индрек, 40 лет  рассказывает, как принял решение быть рядом со своей женой во время родов: «Мы приехали в роддом, и через несколько часов я по-думал, что скоро все случится и мое участие нужно свести к нулю. Сообщил об этом жене и уехал. Но по дороге домой понял, что надо вернуться. Теперь я уверен, что поступил правильно, – ей нужна была моя поддержка».

30-летний Райн не пропускает ни одной новой книги о беременности, владеет терминологией на уровне опытного пользователя. «Для меня самым важным моментом стал день, когда нам сообщили пол ребенка. Малыш еще не родился, но кажется, я полностью готов ко встрече с ним. Хотя и волнуюсь: я же еще не знаю, как это – быть папой. Надеюсь, что смогу сделать его таким же счастливым, каким отец сделал меня».

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