Как я из Псевдопапаши превратился в настоящего ПАПУ!



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Я стал папой!Нет, не римским. Нашим – эстонским. Я стал папой спустя 6 месяцев после рождения нашего крохи!

Кем же я был до этого – спросите вы? ПсевдоПапашей! Это пожалуй особая форма отцовства,которая, к сожалению, проявляется у 80% мужчин. ПсевдоПапаша он вроде как есть, а вроде как его и нет. Он приходит с работы, весело подкидывает ребенка, целует в лоб и идет есть свой борщ. После борща ПсевдоПапаша, конечно же, займется своим чадом. 5 минут шуточек и отпущенных комментариев на тему : « Уууууу, сколько ты сегодня навалил», а дальше, с чувством выполненного отцовского долга, возвращает ребенка маме. Перед сном все истинные ПсевдоПапаши умиляются засыпающему чистенькому и спокойному ребенку.

Вообщем, быть ПсевдоПапашей меня вполне устраивало, ведь я видел готовый чистый продукт, без истерик и подгузников. Все издержки на себя брала жена, моя же роль заключалась в веселых подкидываниях и , конечно же, мудрейших отцовских напутствиях!

Но в один момент все закончилось и я перестал быть Псевдопапашей после того, как услышал роковую фразу от своей жены «Слушай, ну ты давай уже – становись ПАПОЙ»! Сказать, что в тот момент мир рухнул – не сказать ничего, а мое самолюбие и чувство собственного достоинства были раздавлены одним махом.

Я гордо принял этот вызов и даже предложил жене уехать на день отдохнуть. Да, я был глуп и молод! И вот я стал папой! Первое время было нормально, но только первое…первые 10 минут.

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Я стал папой и узнал, что такое памперсы! Оказывается их надо менять! Это вам ни один раз надел, и через день снял. Это несколько раз на дню – «сюрприз и радость», которые надо аккуратно снять, завернуть и выкинуть в мусорное ведро. Никогда я еще так внимательно не следил за рекламой памперсов в надежде,что уже изобрели более сухой и легкий подвид подгузников.

Я стал папой, выйдя одним морозным утром на прогулку! Прогулка с малышом это, пожалуй,самое скучное занятие в мире, скучнее может быть только ходить с женой по Юлемистекескусу. Если на встречу попадается такой же папа, то молча киваешь ему, мол : «Я тебя понимаю, бро». После 3 прогулок я стал умнее. Теперь я гуляю в трех штанах и слушаю аудиокниги.

Я стал папой, когда мой ребенок заболел,а жены не было рядом. Я никогда не думал, что так может быть тяжело. Нет, у меня болели в детстве хомячки,но все же не до такой степени. В тот момент я сделал самую большую ошибку – я стал звонить бабушкам, дедушкам, тетям и дядям. Одни говорили, что я слишком плотно укутываю ребенка, другие, что неплохо бы на ребенка еще пару шуб одеть. Одни говорят: «закаливайте», другие говорят: «отпаривайте»; одни говорят: «кушайте витамин», другие: «ничего не кушайте». В этот момент мне хотелось позвонить тем, кто в детстве помогал моим хомячкам – ветеринарам. Я позвонил врачу.

Я стал папой, когда первый раз смог успокоить орущего ребенка. Когда ребенок истерит- это все. Боль и отчаяние всего мира раздаются в каждом крике младенца. Впервые я понял, что мой сын не такой уж «ангелочек», каким я считал его будучи ПсевдоПапашей. Я готовился к тому, что придется вызывать 112, но жена сказала, что ребенок просто хочет спать. Странно это, когда я хочу спать , я ложусь и сплю. И тут я впервые смекнул! Если дети хорошо спят на улице,то значит и на балконе они также будут хорошо спать. Жена сказала теплее одеть малыша. Одевать орущего ребенка также сложно, как попасть ниткою̆ в иголку, проезжая по ухабам в родном Ыйесмяэ. Ты вроде как целишься, но все время мимо. Операция «балкон» прошла успешно и парень вновь превратился в ангелочка.

Я стал папой и весь мир, кажется, теперь вертится вокруг ребенка. Я«включился в процесс»и избавился от категории «ПсевдоПапаша». Следить за детьми — это тяжелый труд. Теперь я охотнее помогаю жене, чтобы та могла отдохнуть. А ребенок да, рядом с ним теперь все видится по-другому. Кажется, порой, что все богатства мира готов отдать за его улыбку.

PS. так как теперь с малышом гуляю я, то для наших суровых дорог мне пришлось изобрести это :)

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213 Комментариев для “Как я из Псевдопапаши превратился в настоящего ПАПУ!”

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  4. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

  5. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

  6. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

  7. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

  8. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

  9. The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

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  22. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of «neighbors» will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune «Social» is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  23. Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

  24. Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

  25. If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

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  87. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

  88. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

  89. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of «neighbors» will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune «Social» is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  90. Trust me these things come in handy when you need them. Tom Zegan

  91. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

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  93. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

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  95. Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

  96. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of «neighbors» will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune «Social» is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  97. The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

  98. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

  99. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

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