«Слова «не хочу и не буду», как с ними бороться?



Думаю, многие родители сталкивались с такой проблемой, когда ребенок категорически отказывался, что либо делать. «Не хочу», «не буду» — вот те самые слова, которые приходится слышать родителям на очередную просьбу или указание. Как же все-таки решить эту проблему? Как правильно себя вести в такой ситуации? В этом вопросе мы постарались разобраться с психологом Таллиннского центра семейных отношений Златой Макеевой.

Екатерина(дочке 4 года) «Слова «не хочу и не буду», как с ними бороться?

«Слова «не хочу и не буду», как с ними бороться?

Необходимо обратить внимание на возрастные особенности. У ребёнка начинается процесс формирования воли. В этом возрасте  собственному «хочу, не хочу» и «буду, не буду» ребёнка противостоит «надо и нельзя» взрослых. Для гармоничного развития волевых процессов ребёнок должен отказаться от своего «хочу, не хочу» и «буду, не буду» и согласиться с маминым или папиным «надо или нельзя». Хорошо, если родитель согласиться с высказыванием ребенка. Как бы «даст» возможность на его существования, но это не означает,что ребёнок это точно получит. Это можно следать следующим способом, проговариваться ребёнку, например, «Да, я знаю, что ты не хочешь это делать, но тем немее надо…» и тд. Мы принимаем желание ребёнка, но при этом заявляем ему о своём, более значимом в данном контексте.

Хорошо «работает» способ, когда родитель делиться с ребёнок своими «не хочу». Например, «Я так не хочу идти на работу, но надо, потому что работа – возможность что-то купить». Помните, когда говорите ребёнку о «нельзя», их не должно быть слишком много. Рекомендуется запрещать ребёнку только опасные для жизни вещи. А в остальных случая ищите возможность договориться. Очень часто, понимать, что когда ребёнок протестует и не хочет идти на сотрудничество или контакт с родителем, ему нужно не то, о чём он просит, а нечто более важное. Возможно, это желание получить Ваше внимание или поддержку. Ему нужно, чтобы его понимали и любили. Поэтому только Вы как никто другой знаете своего ребенка и можете прислушаться и услышать чего же на самом деле ему может быть не хватать.

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182 Комментариев для “«Слова «не хочу и не буду», как с ними бороться?”

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  74. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of «neighbors» will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune «Social» is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  75. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

  76. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

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  79. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

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  81. If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

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  83. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

  84. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

  85. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of «neighbors» will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune «Social» is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  86. I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

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  89. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

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  96. I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

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